The Confidence Gap & Its Roots
Throughout history, women have often been told that they’re “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “too small” to take charge. Even today, the effects of these messages linger, subtly shaping how women perceive their own potential. The “confidence gap”—the difference in self-assurance between men and women—has long been a defining characteristic of gender dynamics. While both men and women experience self-doubt, studies consistently show that women tend to have lower confidence levels in their abilities, whether in the workplace, in personal relationships, or in financial decision-making.
But here’s the good news: women are catching up. Confidence isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a muscle that can be built, nurtured, and strengthened. The key to closing the confidence gap lies in rewiring our brains to change the narratives we’ve been told about our worth. And as women continue to challenge long-standing societal expectations, they are not only closing the gap—they’re reclaiming their personal and financial power.
Understanding The Confidence Gap: Historical & Societal Influences
To understand the confidence gap, we must first acknowledge the historical and societal factors that have contributed to it. For centuries, gender roles have dictated what men and women can do. Men were encouraged to be leaders, risk-takers, and decision-makers, while women were expected to be caregivers, supporters, and homemakers. These roles, deeply ingrained in our societies, have shaped how women view their own capabilities.
Even today, these roles influence the ways women experience self-worth. From childhood, women are often socialized to be selfless and accommodating, to downplay their achievements, and to prioritize the needs of others over their own. In contrast, men are taught to be assertive, to embrace failure as a stepping stone, and to showcase their success without hesitation.
Research shows that women are much more likely to downplay their accomplishments in professional settings. In fact, a study by Hewlett Packard found that women apply for jobs only when they meet 100% of the qualifications, while men apply when they meet just 60%. This hesitation to fully embrace their abilities contributes significantly to the confidence gap.
How The Confidence Gap Manifests
The confidence gap doesn’t just exist in theory—it has real-world consequences in multiple areas of life.
1. In The Workplace
One of the most glaring manifestations of the confidence gap can be seen in the workplace. Women are often less likely to speak up in meetings, self-promote, or take on leadership roles. Despite being just as qualified (if not more so) than their male counterparts, many women doubt whether they’re truly deserving of a promotion or a higher salary. They may feel uncomfortable negotiating their worth, fearing that doing so will make them appear “too aggressive” or “unlikeable.”
2. In Personal Life
Confidence isn’t just a professional concern; it also plays a huge role in personal relationships. Women often struggle with issues of self-worth, worrying that they need to be “perfect” in order to be loved or valued. This can lead to self-sabotage, especially in romantic relationships or friendships, where women may withhold their true selves for fear of judgment.
3. In Financial Decisions
Perhaps one of the most striking areas where the confidence gap is evident is in women’s financial decisions. Whether it’s investing, negotiating salaries, or planning for retirement, women often feel less confident in their financial abilities. According to a study by Merrill Lynch, 56% of women feel financially insecure, and many hesitate to take control of their financial futures due to fear of making the wrong decision.
The Rise of Women Taking Charge
The good news is that women are starting to break down the barriers of self-doubt and rise to the challenge. The past decade has seen a surge in female empowerment, and women are no longer waiting for permission to take up space. Women are stepping into roles of power in every sphere of life, from business and politics to the arts and sciences.
We’re seeing more women become entrepreneurs, leaders, and innovators, shattering the glass ceilings that once confined them. Take, for example, people like Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, who went from working out of her apartment to creating a billion-dollar company. Or Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who defied the odds and became one of the most iconic U.S. Supreme Court justices, advocating for gender equality.
Women are increasingly represented in leadership roles, and their stories are becoming the new norm. Social movements like #MeToo and #GirlsWhoCode have sparked important conversations about the power of women’s voices and the need for equal representation. These movements have not only raised awareness but have also inspired countless women to embrace their confidence and take action.
How Women Can Rewire Their Brains To Close The Gap
The great news is that the confidence gap is not insurmountable. Women can rewire their brains to build lasting self-assurance. This is where the concept of neuroplasticity comes in—the brain’s ability to form new neural connections and adapt over time. By shifting our mindset and practicing new ways of thinking, we can literally change the way our brains work.
1. Self-Talk & Affirmations
Negative self-talk is one of the biggest contributors to low confidence. Women often internalize the messages they’ve received from society about their worth. But by consciously changing the narrative, women can build a healthier relationship with themselves. Using affirmations like “I am worthy of success” or “I trust my abilities” can help reframe negative thoughts and boost self-esteem.
2. Visualization Techniques
Visualization is a powerful tool that successful individuals across all fields use. By mentally picturing success, women can create a mental blueprint for their goals. Whether it’s imagining walking into a meeting with confidence or seeing oneself managing a successful business, visualization helps boost the brain’s belief in what’s possible.
3. Mindfulness & Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are excellent ways to clear the mind, reduce stress, and improve focus. They allow women to stay present in the moment rather than overthinking or second-guessing themselves. This leads to better decision-making and a greater sense of self-assurance.
4. Building Confidence In Small Steps
Confidence is not built overnight—it’s a process. By setting small, achievable goals and celebrating progress, women can create a foundation of success to build on. Each win, no matter how small, reinforces the belief that they are capable and deserving of more.
5. Surrounding Yourself With Support
Confidence flourishes in an environment that encourages growth. Building a strong support network of mentors, peers, and like-minded women can provide the encouragement and accountability needed to take on new challenges. Women who surround themselves with other confident individuals tend to feel more empowered to pursue their own goals.
Financial Freedom: The Key to True Empowerment
At the intersection of confidence and empowerment lies financial freedom. For far too long, women have been told they’re not as good with money as men. However, today, more and more women are reclaiming their financial independence and taking control of their wealth.
1. The Financial Gender Gap
The financial gender gap is stark. Women, on average, earn less than men and are less likely to invest in stocks or start their own businesses. This financial inequality contributes directly to the confidence gap. Women often feel less equipped to navigate complex financial systems, which leads to a reluctance to take action.
But things are changing. Women are increasingly becoming financially literate, and they’re learning to break free from the financial insecurities that have held them back.
2. Breaking The Taboo
Women are now more vocal than ever about their finances. Female financial influencers, such as Sallie Krawcheck (CEO of Ellevest) and Tiffany Aliche (The Budgetnista), are empowering women to take charge of their financial futures. By learning to budget, invest, and negotiate salaries, women are gaining confidence in their financial decisions. In fact, studies show that women investors often outperform men due to their more cautious and long-term approach.
Overcoming Challenges: Societal Expectations & Internalized Doubt
Despite all the progress, women still face significant hurdles. Society often labels confident women as “too aggressive” or “too emotional.” The expectation that women should be humble and self-effacing creates an internal conflict for many who are trying to assert themselves in professional and personal spaces.
Imposter syndrome also remains a major barrier. Women are often conditioned to believe they don’t belong in high-level positions or that they’re somehow “faking” their success. Overcoming imposter syndrome requires recognizing that competence is not tied to gender and that women are just as capable as their male counterparts.
Practical Steps Women Can Take To Cultivate Inner Confidence
Here are some actionable steps aspiring women can take to bridge the confidence gap!
Education and Self-Development
One of the most important steps women can take to close the confidence gap is to invest in themselves. Whether it’s through formal education, financial literacy courses, or reading books about personal development, expanding knowledge and skillsets is a powerful way to build confidence.
Risk-Taking and Goal Setting
Taking risks, whether in business, career, or personal life, is essential to growing confidence. Setting specific goals, both short-term and long-term, gives women a roadmap for success and keeps them motivated.
Financial Literacy Programs
Learning about finances is crucial for women who want to achieve financial independence. Programs like Financial Gym, HerMoney podcasts, or Ellevest are great resources for women who want to become more financially savvy.
Emotional Intelligence Development
Confidence and emotional intelligence go hand in hand. By cultivating emotional awareness and learning how to navigate difficult emotions, women can lead with authenticity, which naturally boosts their self-assurance.
Closing Thoughts: The Breakthrough Is Near
The confidence gap is not something that will close overnight, but the progress we’re seeing is undeniable. As more women step into their power, rewrite their narratives, and take control of their finances, they’re showing the world that confidence is not a gendered trait—it’s a human trait.
The future is bright, and it’s female. It’s time for women to trust in their abilities, embrace their worth, and close the confidence gap for good.
